ChatGPT Buzzwords I Love To Hate

Revolutionary

You’re never going to believe this new, revolutionary product! Yeah, you’re right; I’m not… because it’s probably not revolutionary. ChatGPT, for the love of sweaty-handed coders, please understand how few things are truly revolutionary. When the internet emerged — that was revolutionary. When General George Washington beat the red out of the redcoats… that was revolutionary. But that teensy, tiny hydraulic part, now with a new, revolutionary black paint job, is probably not gonna change the world.

Unveiled

Guess what? Someone who is not a magician unveiled another stupid product. (That you certainly don’t need.) Unveiled, yuck. Unless you’re pulling a rabbit out of a hat or sawing ladies in half (legally), in my book, you’re probably not unveiling sh*t.

Supercharged

“Our new product is supercharged.” Call the doctor because my jaw just hit the floor. Not because I’m impressed but because I just took a self-inflicted bullet to the skull. (It went through! It went through!) The world has enough bullsh*t already; we don’t need any more supercharged, super-stupid marketing phrases that mean absolutely nothing.

Boost

Get ready for a boost! The only thing that’s boosting is my annoyance for this fluffy-ass word. I’m ready to take my laptop and boost it clear out the window every time I see ChatGPT slap “boost” on an asinine product from an asinine business. Do you want to boost your conversions? No, ChatGPT, I’d prefer not to be boosted. In fact, I’d prefer it if you understood how buzzwords never once got a person buzzed.

Enhance

Get ready to enhance your team. Is it me, or does the word “enhance” sound like a cheap ’90s movie starring a cheaper bad guy in a computer scene? *Cue the bad guy hitting the computer mouse and saying, “enhance… enhance,” while staring quizzically into the computer.* That’s great you want to enhance our capabilities and all; however, the word “improve” would be a… wait for it… an improvement.