Success doesn’t look like the pictures. If you spend approximately one minute online searching for images of success, you’ll think you’re watching a Hollywood movie: You’ll see James Bond lookalikes posing with Lamborghinis. You’ll notice houses the size of hills resting in the countryside. And someway, somehow, none of these…

Hey Twinkle Toes, you might want to eat another corndog before you think about ringin’ my bell. They said that demolition driver had seen more wrecks than the marriages on Maury. Watch your step Cinderella… wouldn’t want you to scuff your glass slippers. If smellin’ dollar bills straight from the…

Life can hit you like a ton of bricks. One day you’re aimlessly scrolling, feeling comfortably uncomfortable, then BAM. You get smacked with a piece of knowledge that hits your reality harder than a declined credit card. And recently, I was fortunate enough to experience one of these moments. Very…

Bold Claim. We are in the end times, and I have the proof you need. If you thought I was referring to the imminent threat of WW3 because world leaders are juggling nukes like underwear juggles balls…. you’d be wrong. And if you thought it was the Covid case count…

Curiosity is a fickle mistress… The Sunday scaries were setting in. As day turned into night, it was time to celebrate America’s other pastime… watching tv. AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF IT!! (Eat your heart out, productivity wizards) And much like the soccer Mom in the minivan, drunk on indecision, clogging…

During the Super Bowl, there are always three games being played: The actual game, in this case, The Bengals vs. The Rams, advertisers competing for the honor of having the best Super Bowl commercial, and the back-stabbing struggle as to who can eat the last chicken wing at my Super…

Super Bowl Snack: Buffalo Chicken Dip People bring buffalo chicken dip when they want to impress you with the illusion of something complicated, but instead, it’s easy. Crockpot easy. It’s the dish that says, take those JV carrots and cookies and move them the fuck over; the buffalo chicken dip is in the house. Unfortunately, Buffalo…

We’d like to cordially invite you to the wedding of someone you sort of know and the complete stranger they’re romantically interested in. Come endure this celebration of love at the expense of your Saturday night. …

I swing vine to vine, searching for my next meal. Sometimes it’s a restaurant, other times it’s a carcass collecting flies. At the turnpike McDonald’s on 87, you wouldn’t know the difference. When I prowl the jungle, only one thing is sure: cooks retreat to their herd for safety in…